This reads like a gripping descent and awakening all at once. The worldbuilding is vivid, but what truly carries it is Mara’s moral reckoning, the quiet shift from comfort to conscience. The imagery of levels, breath, light, and hunger stays with you long after the last line. Powerful, cinematic, and impossible to look away from.
Thank you! These prompts are challenging as the genre isn’t my type of writing. But I do these challenges each week and have noticed my writing is changing. 😊 Again your feedback is appreciated as it gives me the confidence to continue. 💞
This is brilliant. The tone is confident and intimate, and Mara’s transformation is so compelling. I love how grounded everything feels, the dust, the tunnels, the weight of the crate on her back. The emotional stakes land beautifully. And the twist about the island? Perfectly timed. It’s rare to read something that feels both cinematic and deeply personal, but you’ve done it. Honestly, I admire the hell out of this piece.
Nat thank you, I used such a different style because writing an essay looked crap. So pleased with this feedback. I want to lean more towards this style. I just seems much easier. Your feedback is just what I needed. ❤
This reads like a gripping descent and awakening all at once. The worldbuilding is vivid, but what truly carries it is Mara’s moral reckoning, the quiet shift from comfort to conscience. The imagery of levels, breath, light, and hunger stays with you long after the last line. Powerful, cinematic, and impossible to look away from.
Thank you! These prompts are challenging as the genre isn’t my type of writing. But I do these challenges each week and have noticed my writing is changing. 😊 Again your feedback is appreciated as it gives me the confidence to continue. 💞
This is brilliant. The tone is confident and intimate, and Mara’s transformation is so compelling. I love how grounded everything feels, the dust, the tunnels, the weight of the crate on her back. The emotional stakes land beautifully. And the twist about the island? Perfectly timed. It’s rare to read something that feels both cinematic and deeply personal, but you’ve done it. Honestly, I admire the hell out of this piece.
Nat thank you, I used such a different style because writing an essay looked crap. So pleased with this feedback. I want to lean more towards this style. I just seems much easier. Your feedback is just what I needed. ❤
Stick with in Brenda, it has real power