This is so beautifully written—it captures the quiet, profound rhythm of life as our loved ones age. I can feel the tenderness and the weight of each fleeting moment. Spending time with your husband’s parents sounds like such a gift, and your words are a beautiful reminder to truly treasure these days, to hold close the laughter, the stories, and even the stillness. Moments like these are precious beyond measure, and your reflection reminds me to slow down and embrace them fully.
are nonintuitive if you’re expecting something straightforward and grounded, like you’d set up until this point.
If I might make a suggestion:
I think it might serve you to swap the placement of lines 1 and lines 2/3, so it might read:
time is now the moments
space is now their thoughts
their days are slowing
each measured by mealtimes
their nights by easy breath
I think the white space before the stanza might help prime the reader to more readily accept a shift in tone or literality. Frontloading the change within the stanza might also more clearly signal to the reader the shift in cadence from the first half of the poem to the second half.
Beautiful 🩶
Thank you.
🧡🧡🧡
Lovely. The flow is perfect.
Thank you for the restack. 😊
Wonderful read 🧡
Simply beautiful.
Thank you.
How time quietly takes away their strength and voice.
It’s a reminder not just to live, but to live with them.
Every day is precious, because one day, memories will be all we have left.
So true. You said it perfectly. Thank you.
😊!
Wow such a stunning poem..just flowing like fragrant flowers.. 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠
Thank you ❤️
🤗🤗🤗
So beautiful
Thank you.
This is so beautifully written—it captures the quiet, profound rhythm of life as our loved ones age. I can feel the tenderness and the weight of each fleeting moment. Spending time with your husband’s parents sounds like such a gift, and your words are a beautiful reminder to truly treasure these days, to hold close the laughter, the stories, and even the stillness. Moments like these are precious beyond measure, and your reflection reminds me to slow down and embrace them fully.
Nat thank you for your words. I just sat down this morning when the guys left and was so tearful. Then my fingers found the keys and I typed away. ❤
I understand, I tend elderly of my own
This is so moving, Brenda.
You captured that quiet truth — how time softens, how love deepens, how every shared meal becomes a prayer.
Your words feel like sitting beside them, just breathing, just being. 💛
Very evocative.
P.S.
The only stanza I stumbled over was:
“their days are slowing…”
I think it’s because these lines,
“time is now the moments
space is now their thoughts”
are nonintuitive if you’re expecting something straightforward and grounded, like you’d set up until this point.
If I might make a suggestion:
I think it might serve you to swap the placement of lines 1 and lines 2/3, so it might read:
time is now the moments
space is now their thoughts
their days are slowing
each measured by mealtimes
their nights by easy breath
I think the white space before the stanza might help prime the reader to more readily accept a shift in tone or literality. Frontloading the change within the stanza might also more clearly signal to the reader the shift in cadence from the first half of the poem to the second half.