When Coercion Bites
For my brother, who stays. I see the weight you carry, the hope that keeps you tethered, and the quiet courage it takes to love through the storm.
There is a quiet kind of violence in manipulation. It does not shout or rage. It creeps in like a shadow at dusk, soft and unassuming at first, so subtle you barely notice the air shift around you. But then it settles deep inside the bones of your trust, and the cold takes hold.
Coercion isn’t always loud demands or sharp accusations. Sometimes it’s the gentle insistence that your feelings are wrong, that your memories are faulty, that your truth is not quite right enough to be heard. It’s the slow, relentless pressure to fold yourself into someone else’s story — a story that changes whenever it suits them, where the lines blur between what you know and what you are told to believe.
And gaslighting is the cruellest part of all. It’s the whisper that makes you question your own mind, your own heart, your own very sense of reality. It’s the dizzying doubt that creeps in when you catch yourself wondering if maybe you are too sensitive, too dramatic, too flawed. It’s the betrayal of your own inner voice, muffled beneath a chorus of denial, deflection, and rewriting.
Living with this is like walking through a hall of mirrors, every reflection warped, every angle designed to confuse. You reach out for certainty and find only shifting shapes. You speak, but your words are twisted, turned back against you as if your sincerity were a weapon to be wielded. And the punishment for seeing too clearly is isolation, silence, and a loneliness so profound it echoes in the hollows of your soul.
But here is the secret they don’t want you to hold: the truth does not disappear because it is denied. The weight of your experience does not lighten because someone else refuses to carry it. And your sense of self, bruised though it may be, is not lost so long as you dare to name what has been done to you.
There is a fierce grace in surviving this kind of cruelty. It is slow and uneven, like the first tentative shoots of grass breaking through cracked earth. It is the hard-won reclamation of your own story, your own voice, your own unshakable truth.
And while the scars will remain, reminders of battles fought in silence- they will not define you. You are more than the shadows cast by manipulation. You are the light that refuses to be extinguished.


What can I say, Brenda?
Your writing is so heartbreaking, and it resonates with me always.
Respect, and kindest regards, to you and your precious brother.
Carol Power
Johannesburg
South Africa